So where have I been all day? I really cannot recall.
Mom and the Maternal Grandfather were at the hospital all day waiting on the Maternal Grandmother to have surgery and all. It took longer than the doctors thought but all is well. When we (that’s right I went into the hospital for night visiting hours, a big step for me) left she was eating a gram cracker very slowly.
While they were in the waiting room, I stayed on this side of the River and took care of things. Watered the animals, walked the children, yelled at the plants; those sort of things. Things look to be the same tomorrow, except I have a few errands of my own and I don’t have to stand on a field ‘coaching.’ I did manage to knit two washcloths in between the moments of chaos. And I pushed myself closer to the ‘knit too much’ line: I smuggled yarn purchases into the house…when no one else was home. I swear it was only two skeins of some cheap acrylic and I am donating two bags of various yarns to the local public school I sub at. Various yarns meaning the coarse cheap acrylic I refuse to work with anymore, some novelty yarn that no longer impresses me, a skein or two I finally admitted that I will never, ever knit up.
The neurologist and I talked this afternoon. She agrees that I need to half my current medication strength and that we need to wait a few weeks to see how it works out. Maybe this will help with the melancholy. I will not use the word ‘depressed;’ it feels so final. ‘Melancholy’ just sounds fleeting. If fleeting is a measure of time which is coming up on seven months. Right now, I would settle for not waking up crying or having moments when I want to scream/cry/throw things/all of the above at the same time.